The last two weeks have been among the most difficult of my life, professionally and personally. Each day brings reports of acts of brutality and news of unimaginable loss in Israel and the ongoing conflict in Gaza. I feel as if the ground has shifted under my feet. People all around us are going about their business with the Hamas attack and the war in Israel in the background, just another conflict in the long list of conflicts happening someplace far away. And the rapid spread of misinformation and antisemitism has an intensity I have never experienced before. Our young people, particularly college students, find themselves in impossible situations, unable to engage with close friends and ostracized online. It sometimes feels like too much to hold. 

Yet, at the same time, I am inspired. By the love our community has for Israel and that we have shown for our family in Sha’ar HaNegev. By the incredible generosity of our community in support of Israel and those affected by this conflict. By the care and compassion we have shown for one another. By the remarkable partnership and solidarity among the Jewish institutions in this community. And by the many non-Jews who have stepped up to support our Jewish Community and Israeli family.  

People keep telling me and my (remarkable) staff to “make sure to take care of yourselves.” This time is heavy, the work is heavy, and people are afraid. I wanted to share some thoughts about resilience from our board member, psychiatrist Dr. Josh Feder, that can extend to all of us, and help us cope with fear and resist this form of emotional “terrorism”. He shared what we should recognize as some common reactions to terror: anxiety, irritability, anger, depressed mood, feelings of guilt that others have it worse, shame over being comfortable, a powerful sense of identification: "those people suffering are all my children", trouble concentrating. Some people avoid certain places or hide their identity. Some people parade who they are.  

All these responses can happen. I know I check many of these boxes myself. More serious reactions, including severe hopelessness and feelings of not wanting to live, anger to the point of planning/taking violent actions, severe mental confusion, and chronic and acute sleeplessness, require urgent professional help.

Recognizing these signs in ourselves and others is essential. Just as important is taking steps to deal with the fear. Here are some of the suggestions Dr. Feder shared: 

• Avoid excessive social media 
• Keep to routines 
• Self-care: hydration, nutrition, rest, exercise/ activity 
• Connect with your community 
• Reach out to others and let them know that you care 
• Stay active in the community - do not let the fear stop you from living your life 
• But be safe - do not take unneeded or foolish risks 
• Prayer can help you feel less alone and stronger 
• Believe in a better future after the current situation is over 
• Have a phrase, maybe 2 or 3, that you can say to yourself to keep you going: 
  • We will survive 
  • We will get through this and rebuild 
  • We are strong with (G-d, each other, …)

I found this helpful and valuable self-check as we navigate the tragedy in Israel and the rising challenges at home. I hope you do as well.  

Thanks for all you do.