Dear friends,

A week after October 7th, my family and I went to the wedding of the daughter of some of our closest friends, whom we have known for a quarter of a century. I was exhausted and distracted and not sure I felt ready for such a joyful simcha. Listening to the vows of those two passionate, funny, caring, thoughtful young people as they stood under the chupah began to cut through the fog just a bit. But then the music started, and I found a quiet corner. Although usually I love to dance, it simply was not in the cards for me. I didn’t want to bring anyone else down. I sat there for a while, struggling, until my twin sons found me, grabbed me a drink and dragged me onto the dance floor. They knew how to make me laugh when I needed it most, and how to pull me out of the sadness I was feeling, at least for the moment. It was wonderful.

As we head into Shabbat today in this season of Elul, of reflection and consolation, my head is filled with images from the past two weeks. Some of those images are very, very hard, and collectively, have left me feeling emotionally spent. The faces of the six young hostages brutally murdered by Hamas, coupled with the news coming out about the horrifying conditions of their captivity, re-break my heart every time I see them. The sights and sounds of the Nova exhibit (which is open in Los Angeles for several more weeks), including the audio and video recordings of the chaos and terror on that day, the cell phone recordings young people took of themselves cowering in fear, and the video testimonials of all that took place and all that was lost on that unthinkable day, will never leave me. Images of destruction and loss from the important and moving Sivani’s House exhibit, which opened at Coastal Roots Farm on Wednesday, haunt me.

But, like the smiling faces of my sons at that wedding, other images from the past few weeks break through the sadness and give me hope. Seeing the magnificent diversity of our community, all standing together in solidarity at our Community Gathering of Mourning last Monday night. The next generation of my chavurah gathered around the pool in our backyard, playing guitars and ukuleles and simply enjoying each other’s company. Sharing a meal and laughing until we couldn’t breathe with guests from Sha’ar HaNegev. An absolutely beautiful and inspiring evening with our most generous supporters, affirming that what we do at Federation matters; that it brings hope.

Weeks shy of the anniversary of October 7th, many of us still feel as though the ground has shifted under our feet. We feel we are living in some sort of parallel universe, and it is easy to get caught up in the darkness.

So, this year, for my Elul practice, I have been collecting moments of hope. I have shared a few here with you that have kept me going. In return, I would like to know what moments have given you hope lately? What actions have you taken, what sights have you witnessed? What music have you listened to, what has made you laugh? Who have you helped and who has helped you? What have you created? What simchas have touched your heart these past few weeks or months? I encourage you to write me back (seriously!) and share something that has given you hope. In turn, I will share back what I learn about how we can continue to stand together, to support one another and our global Jewish community, and from where we can find our strength.

Working on behalf of the Jewish people gives me hope. Thank you for that gift.

May the next few weeks of Elul be a time of meaningful reflection for you, may we see the safe return of the remaining hostages, and may we all find more reason to hope in the days ahead.

Shabbat Shalom,

Heidi Gantwerk, President & CEO
Jewish Federation of San Diego